I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
