so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
