Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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