yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
