apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize