yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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