I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
