I will die if light touches me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize