I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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