just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
