Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
