Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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