My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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