and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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