True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
this just has baby written all over it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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