redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
