Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
