just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
