Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
