I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
