she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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