Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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