I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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