I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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