At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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