WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
