why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
