Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
