I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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