is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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