Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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