you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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