marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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