He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize