I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
