I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
