so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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