so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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