Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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