If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize