CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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