Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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