suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize