Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
