mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
