and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
