Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
