i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
