Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
