you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
