pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
