Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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