so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I have already put on my inside pants.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
