Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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