remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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