I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
