Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
