that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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