If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
