i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
