Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
