Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
