making cat noises will not fix the situation.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
