Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
They took my balls.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
