In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
