I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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