You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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