Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
That's intense
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
